i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
