I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
he quoted the bible to break up with me
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
