Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Did I show you my penis last night?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
