A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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