I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
