And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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