Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
