he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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