there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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