some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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