best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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