had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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