Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
