Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
