plz talk dirty to me
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I need to align my fucking chakras
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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