I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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