dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I deserve this hangover.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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