You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
