I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
