Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
