Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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