Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
