Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
