at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
