Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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