Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
