I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Say something about gay babies.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
