apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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