The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
