direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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