I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
