You're a womanizer and a bitch.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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