she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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