after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
