my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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