Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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