The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
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I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize