There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
