Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I am midnight drunk by noon
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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