well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
