This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
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