Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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