I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Dignity is for republicans.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
The ass gains better be worth it
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