Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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