I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
