I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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