The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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