whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
