you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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