Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
