I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
