i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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