Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
