hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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