I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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