My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize