I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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