...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize